I don’t get into this conversation with many of my Christian friends…I wish more of them would be open to the discussion but I have to respect that this is an incredibly emotionally charged issue and friendships can be lost over such things. At the same time, I wish that more Christians could be open to the possibility that one can be Christian and pro choice.
The prompting for this post is learning on a friend’s blog that the National Abortion Rights Action League (NARAL) has endorsed Barack Obama. I’m surprised by this because I thought for sure that their endorsement would go to Hillary. But they see the writing on the wall like I’m thinking Hillary already has.
I worked for Planned Parenthood for many years doing pregnancy testing and counseling. I have referred many women and girls for abortions and some for adoption. I have heard countless stories of how these women and girls ended up with an unplanned pregnancy — some stories I wish I could forget. Stories of incest (on more than one occasion stories of repeated pregnancies from incest), rape, domestic abuse, loneliness, heartache, self-hatred, and fear. Never in all of the years that I worked in an abortion clinic did I meet a woman who casually chose abortion on a whim, as if without thinking or because it was the “easy” thing to do. Never did I meet a woman who was not torn up over her decision. And there it is: her decision. Not mine. Not yours. Not a Senator’s sitting on Capitol Hill. Hers. There in that very small counseling room, looking at that positive pregnancy test, knowing that she was going to make the hardest and worst decision of her whole life. And knowing that she will never be the same again.
I do not advocate or encourage abortion, but I believe that our government must maintain the right to legal and safe abortion for women who want to end a pregnancy. Women must be allowed the right to make this decision between herself and her physician without the interference of any government entity. I believe that reproductive choice is a fundamental human right. Criminalizing abortion will not end abortion. Women will die just as they did before abortion was legalized. My own mother lost a high school friend to a botched back-alley abortion in the 1950’s. Even in the 1990’s I met women who came to our clinic after trying to perform their own abortion by their own crude means. All to save face and avoid having to come to our clinic.
We live in a tragically fallen, sinful world and abortion is part of it. Sex without commitment (ie, marriage) is part of it. Unplanned pregnancy is part of it. Criminalizing abortion will not change these facts. Only the return of Christ and His reign on Earth will change these facts. Until then I believe that we must educate our young women and men (in homes, schools, and churches) about healthy sexual activity and the consequences of sex outside of marriage. We must work diligently to improve the self esteem of teenage girls so they do not seek acceptance through sex. We must provide affordable birth control to women of all races and economic classes. We must provide single women with economic and social support to make parenthood a feasible option. And we must reach the world for Christ so that women will have a foundation and support system to help them choose not to have an abortion.
Please know that I do not take this issue lightly. My husband and I struggle with infertility and the knowledge that we will never have our own biological child. Some days I feel that I would give anything for my own pregnancy and I struggle knowing that there are women out there choosing to end theirs. But my pain does not give me the right to take away another woman’s choice. It is hard and it doesn’t make sense, but God is good and his forgiveness and mercy are unfathomable.
Women In His Image 
One thing to think about, Meg… If it’s true that only the return of Christ and His reign on Earth will change these facts, then why attempt anything “good” at all? Why attempt to educate, work diligently, provide birth control, provide support, etc, if Christ’s return is the only true solution? Well, because redeeming this (fallen) earth is what we’re called to do! Though it may be true that criminalizing abortion will result in death, we must understand that legalized abortion advocates death. I think we can educate and work to support women as well as fight to oppose the deaths of growing human fetuses.
I’m wondering if you and I disagree on the point of human life rather than the worth of women (because surely we agree on the latter).
Thanks for being open to conversation! This is a topic of high emotion, but I think we need to be able to talk openly anyhow…
I know this post is three years old—but the gentle wording and the position are spot on correct.
Thank you for your comment Jeffrey — it is fascinating to me that this post still generates comments. I am thankful that people want to continue discourse on the issue.
Meg,
Thanks for your honest and courageous post. I thought it was extremely well written and I do understand your point, but I have to agree with R. Even in the horrendous cases you mentioned, I feel, as Christians, we are called to encourage adoption instead of abortion. We are called to love the women, not the decision.
I would be willing to talk to you privately (email) about instances in my own family where so many good things came out of bad situations–if you so desire.
Sarah
Hi Meg,
I’m glad I found your blog. We have a lot in common. I find myself sick at heart about the lack of willingness to address the causes of abortion and the belief that criminalizing abortion will solve the problems that lead to them. I think the real object is to take our autonomy away from us.
While I agree with Sarah M that adoption is a good choice, it is really up to the pregnant women whether that is the best plan for her and only she has the right to make that decision. Many things do come out of bad situations, but there’s more than one way toward a good outcome.
I find the lack of charity in the pro-life movement disturbing. Though I am Catholic, I am sick at heart over the Catholic blogosphere which seems to be filled with self-righteousness on this issue. Anyone who doesn’t agree is immediately labeled “not really Catholic.” Your blog is quite a welcome relief!
Hey there Meg,
I found your article relieving, I was starting to think that I was the only Christian out there who also happens to be pro choice. It’s a touchy subject to many people and I have often noticed it can turn into a nasty debate. I agree with you, education is a key element that can certainly help prevent unplanned pregnancies so women won’t have to make this incredibly difficult decision. I try to stay neutral, I am not an advocate of abortion in all situations. It is uptimately up to the woman to decide if an abortion would be right for her. It should be no else’s decision but her own. We must make sure our women have this option. Keep abortion safe and legal! Thank you for such a wonderful article, I thoroughly enjoyed it and thought it was very well written.
I am a Christian that used to believe that abortion was okay. I have had two, both when I was a young Christian almost thirty years ago. I now believe that a human life is not mine to end.
I think that if the Church would have more compassion and less judging of pregnancy outside of marriage that there would be fewer abortions. These attitudes have greatly improved over the last few decades but there is room for improvement still.
I have adopted 4 FAS/FDE children (after raising my own 4 bio kids) Even with all their birth defects I truly believe that life was the better choice for them. I’m glad their mother thought so too.
As one who has experienced abortion I tell all people including my own unmarried pregnant daughter, “Be brave and choose life, you’ll regret the abortion.” She did and my granddaughter is the most amazing blessing:)
At this time in history, with birth control available to children as young as 12, I think it is time to do away with this barbaric practice, especially late term abortion.
I know I am not the only person that believes that abortion is one of the ways(along with suicide, drugs) our Enemy is doing away with this generation that will usher in the second coming of Christ. Just like Satan did through Herod when Christ was born, ( Moses too) Satan has come to kill, rob and destroy. I don’t want to be his apprentice.
I appreciate the venue you have provided here to discuss this. Let’s all be a little more tolerant of our brothers and sisters.
Christ will show me where I am in error because he loves me.
Thank you
Annette
Hi Annette, thanks for your comments. I appreciate your thoughts. Please note that I never said that I think abortion is “okay.” I do not believe that abortion is okay, but I am willing to allow another woman to make her own decision on the issue. I do not believe in criminalizing that decision because I don’t agree with it.
I certainly agree with you that there can be long-term effects from abortion. Emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual effects. Even more of a reason to support global family planning services and women’s access to free birth control.
Hi, I have never heard this kind of question asked before so here goes: Everyone has the right to choose to do anything. For example I can choose to go in the other room right now and kill whomever I find there. Why do you think abortion should be a state supported choice instead of a state concemned choice? There are many resources to keep me from killing the person in the next room, such as dialing a crisis or suicide hotline, seeing my doctor for a prescription or counseling, etc., while still keeping killing that person illegal and worthy of punishment. Why can’t the state take that position with abortion? Wouldn’t it be far more moral for the state to provide many services for pregnant, at-risk women than to legalize their right to choose an abortion?
I think its a sad state when Satan has confused believers into thinking its ok to have an abortion. This is a very very sad and disturbing site. Lord have mercy on us.
Kyle, if you completely read my post you saw that in no way do I state it is “ok to have an abortion.” In fact, I state that I do not advocate or encourage abortion. I believe in maintaining the right to legal abortion while taking our responsibility as Christians in moving towards a society where women are no longer in the position where they are forced to choose abortion. In the words of former President Clinton: Abortion should be safe, legal, and rare.”
To Annette
Im 19 years old and also a new christian. Thank you for sharing your story, it lets me know I am not aone in my chioce. It is not one I am proud of and Im having a hard time dealing with it. However I agree that as a church we need to be more supportive of unwed mothers. I was not given any support by my church leaders when they learnt I was pregnant, instead I felt issolated and disgusted with myself. The sad thing is that I had a miscarriage when I was 16, and I wanted to keep the baby, there was no fear or doubt in my mind because there was no judgement from those closest to me. I am in no way blaming my church for my abortion at all but I would love to see more christians taking in young mums and supporting them and the baby through the pregnancy rather than focusing on the baby as the only significant life in the situation.
I would love to hear back from you and hear how you over came your situation when you were younger and if you have any advice as to how I can get through this.
Thanks
Ronaele
=]
Perfect and accurate.
I had my first child when I was 19. I am now 30. The love for my daughter, like any good mother, is great and irreplacable. However, the struggle she and I have endured, even now, financially, emotionally, fatherless, etc. has made me wonder ‘how could I have put us through this?’ The reason I didn’t have an abortion is because I thought it was wrong and my christian family is against it. Also, I lived in a world of self hate where pregnancy was just another thing I had to “endure” and “be strong” after a life of childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse and living without a mother to raise me. I’m still not married but after my first child I have had two abortions… It’s not something that any woman can really be proud of but I thank God that I was able to make the choices I made out of desperation and another chance to get my life right with myself and with God. I have gone to church my whole life and no one has offered to help me. They judge me because I’m sitting in church, not married, with a daughter. I will not condone premarital sex or abortion with my daughter but I will continue to teach her that her choices are very important to her future, to love herself and we’ve all got to the best we can.
Amelie, thank you for your sincere and honest post. You made a very courageous decision to have your daughter on your own. You have so much wisdom from your experiences that you can share with your daughter, and I’m sure that this will be invaluable to her as she makes her own decisions. I think that you could be an excellent advocate for other women who have shared similar difficult experiences in life. I pray for the continued comfort and healing of Christ in your life.
I agree. I’m not an advocate. Abortion causes brokenness, just as sex before marriage can cause a broken heart. Still is was my choice. Just as man looks at woman with lust, sin is sin.
The Bible tells us God is involved in our creation from the womb:
“Did not He who made me in the womb make him, And the same one fashion us in the womb? (Job 31:15)
Yet Thou art He who didst bring me forth from the womb; Thou didst make me trust when upon my mother’s breasts. Upon Thee I was cast from birth; Thou hast been my God from my mother’s womb. (Psalms 22:9-10)
For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Thy works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from Thee, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Thy book they were all written, The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. (Psalms 139:13-16)
Thus says the LORD who made you And formed you from the womb, who will help you, `Do not fear, O Jacob My servant; And you Jeshurun whom I have chosen. (Isaiah 44:2)
Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, and the one who formed you from the womb, “I, the LORD, am the maker of all things, Stretching out the heavens by Myself, And spreading out the earth all alone, (Isaiah 44:24)
I’m interested to hear these opinions of fellow Christians and many Christians have the same stance on this issue. I used to be tolerant with people having abortions in this world because it is broken and people will do what they choose even though I was convicted I would never have an abortion. I used to think many gray areas were okay even for Christians.
But now, being more mature in my relationship with God, I don;t think all of these worldly things are okay. As Christians we are supposed to be set apart from the world. We are not supposed to participate in premarital sex, homosexuality, or choose to end the life of an innocent child. These things are stated in the Bible the inspired word of God.
God’s mercy and forgiveness is greater than we all know and as the body of Christ we are supposed mirror that. People sin. We are supposed to be there to pick them up. But being Pro-Choice is being tolerant of the innocent killing of a child. We need to be the voice for these innocent unborn babies. What about their choice? God values every life and we should too.
Hi – I stumbled upon this post while doing some research… thanks for the insights as one who is working very intimately with the topic at hand. I appreciate your response to one of the previous comments saying you don’t think abortion is “okay” but you realize it’s not your prerogative to prohibit it for someone else. I also appreciate your obvious sympathy and desire to help these women in difficult circumstances… these are much lacking qualities in the American church, especially in pro-life circles. My question for you is, as a Christian, what do you think is the role of law in society? What should or should not the government legislate? As you yourself are against abortion, I assume you view the fetus as a living being, having life value… otherwise, it is simply a living tissue that is part of the mother and abortion should be no issue whatsoever. I value your belief that abortion is the choice of the woman and not of the State, a senator, a judge, etc. However, do you think the state should control violence against humans in general, or leave it to the discretion of the ones being violent? If the fetus has the same value of life as any other human, why should the government legally “stay out” of the practice of abortion and not the practice of murder in general?
I am a student at a well-known evangelical seminary in the U.S., and am currently preparing to debate a pro-abortion standpoint in a Christian Ethics class (not because I am pro-abortion, but b/c I thought it would be interesting). As I prepare for the debate and as I determine my own stance, I am taking seriously the biblical role of law, as well as what it means to live under the U.S. constitution and not a Christian government. However, the central issue appears to be NOT whether or not one should have the choice, BUT whether or not the fetus is a living being. If the fetus does have the same human quality as you or I, then I can’t help but ask why the government should take a stance against murder and not against abortion?(Obviously, in the general public, the jury is still out on whether the fetus is a living being or not. However, it appears that you believe it has life value.) Thus, my question restated: what is the role of law in our world? What should it be used for and when is it inappropriate?
I would appreciate your thoughts.
Thanks
Thanks for your comments Steve. You ask very difficult questions that I can’t say I am necessarily able to answer. What do I think the role of law is in society? I would say the role of law is to protect the citizens and create a safe environment where individual members of society can thrive and live in harmony with one another. I believe that there are very personal and intimate human matters that the government cannot legislate, and certain religious and spiritual matters that the government should not legislate. As an individual in a free society, I personally view my fetus as a living being from the time of conception and I am thankful that I do not live in a society where if this were my second child my government would force abortion on me without my choice (China). I don’t believe that the government can legislate that the fetus has the same “value of life” as any other human — I don’t believe this is the role of government, but should instead be the role of the church in society. To raise the example of China again, their government has legislated that a second child has no value of life whatsoever.
American law is not Biblical law, nor should it be in my opinion (read Hauerwas & Willimon’s “The Ten Commandments in Christian Life” for very interesting thoughts on this notion). Our country is based on freedom of religious and religious plurality and I value these ideals.
I can tell you that since I wrote my original post I now have personal experience with pregnancy and it has not changed my thoughts on the legality of abortion. I still believe in a woman’s right to obtain a safe and legal abortion if that is her choice. However, as someone who did abortion counseling for many years, my experience has certainly convicted me further that we should be providing women with very accurate and complete information as they choose the fate of their pregnancy. They must understand that a heart is beating at 6 weeks of life (not as a method of coercion, but simply as a biological fact). They must understand that there are emotional and psychological consequences to abortion that they may experience for years to come (again, not to be manipulative or frighten them but to help prepare them for mental and emotional health in their recovery process). They must be enabled to work through the loss and grief that should be natural for ending a pregnancy (these issues are rarely if ever addressed). Honesty and truthfulness within the abortion counseling process will hopefully contribute to the effort of reducing the number of abortions and the number of unplanned pregnancies as well. Trust me, this is everyone’s goal – even those who work as abortion providers.
Hi Steve. You seemed to have many points. The only thing is, you’re not a woman. I’m sorry, but you’ll never know what she goes through. Good luck to you.
Steve, I agree with your post. Amelie, although he’s a man and will never be able to experience the wonderful journey of pregnancy or the devistating effects of abortion, it effects men as well. I don’t know the statistics, but I’m sure there are a good number of women who don’t even bother to include the fathers in their choice. A major arguement used to justify the choice is a mans abuse of a woman, but I ask you, what about the cases that aren’t a result of that? Last year in the local news was a man who was so devistated by his girlfriends choice (without including him in it) he bought ad space to express it. I’m aware that there are also men who push their girlfriends into it. I also agree that we as christians need to be more supportive, my husband & I have discussed that there should be a church supported program to encourage women to either keep the baby or adopt it. We both agree, if they were getting financial/emotional support, it would change their outlooks. Now I do know someone who, not really on a whim, but simply because she didn’t like who she got pregnant by had no problem killing the baby. She did this twice, it had nothing to do with not being supported, her mother backed her in whatever her choice was. (She had two kids in between them.) No one likes to mention those women, and although you’ve never encountered any, there are women who do it to “maintain their lifestyle”. I’m not saying it didn’t effect her at all, of course it did. She also had ample access to birthcontrol (we both went to the same free clinic that gave out pills & condoms), she chose not to use it, or make sure the men wore a condom. What about women like this? These women don’t get mentioned often either, again, I don’t know statistics, but I do know someone like that. So then would those cases be considered murder? What about rape victims? As we’ve read in an earlier post, (and I believe) that life starts at conception. The definition of murder is: the unlawful premeditated killing of one human being by another. The devistating reality is due to one word in that definiton, its legal, “unlawful”.
I just feel that if Jesus was here he would not be running around trying to gain legislative support. He would be out there spreading the message of His unfailing love for us. That is the Great Commision, not some legislative campaign. I challenge you pro-life christians to do what Jesus did and forgive those who have had abortions and counsel them on Christ redeeming love. I challenge you to open your homes to neglected foster children. Spend time out of your day with orphans. Babysit for the single mothers. Experience what survivors of rape and incest have gone through! Jesus has been through it all. He knows the pain of a women’s choice. AND NO MATTER WHAT HE LOVES HER! So why Christians, are we spending this wasted time debating these issue when we are called to love as Jesus did. Honestly, even I should not have the time to be writting this. Becaause as followers we should have plenty more important things to be doing! Please don’t even respond with your ” I am saving babies crusade”. If you truly want to save babies get out there and spread the love of Christ! Get off your fundamentalist high horse and walk were Jesus walked, down here with the lowly sinners. Stop acing like the Pharises who are more concerned with the Law then the Messiah himself!! Sometimes I wonder if people even read the Bible.
AMEN SISTER!!!
I agree completely.
This is so true!
I would just like to thank Arianna for her deeply inspiring words.
I can understand the heartache of an unplanned mistake…sitting there staring blankly at a positive pregnancy test, thinking, “Wow, my entire life has changed in an instant, how can I possibly bring a child into this world…not ready…scared…can’t support it…don’t want it…” whatever the case may be. Setting aside incest and rape for the time being. I guess what I don’t understand is, how is it “her” choice? We’re only discussing consentual sex at the moment. She made the choice when she had sex….and the “mistake” that occured isn’t her choice to terminate. Life comes from God. There was a divine purpose for that child….period…or she wouldn’t have conceived.
It’s no more her choice to terminate that child, than it is mine, when a screaming kid on a bus, is an inconvience to me, so I choose to terminate that child. How is it any different? Because the child is out of the womb, then it becomes murder, but when the child is in the womb, it’s not? I can promise you, as a former embryo myself, I’m glad that I’m here. Even at my lowest points in my life would I have ever wished that my mother would have terminated me instead. There comes a point in life that people have to be responsible and held accountable for their actions….it’s not a child’s fault that her sexual encounter resulted in pregnancy. Millions of families are desperately wanting to adopt babies…because they can’t conceive….how haudy and pretentious of us to say….”Well we can have one…but I’m choosing to terminate instead”
Rock for Life!
When men can have babies and there life completely changes, then you can have a valid say.
I completely agree with you Gina. I so often am amazed at how many men have this outlook.
I saw once, after my abortion at age 30, a blog online where many ‘men’, police officers, from a police department were posting comments about “women who have abortions”. Things such as, “Any women who has an abortion has performed the most evil thing on earth”, or “Any woman who could murder a baby should be put to death themselves”, and “What a selfish act these women make”, and “She’s going to hell where she belongs”, and “What a killing bitch”, etc, etc….
What kind of justice is this??
Where is the help that women need in this area?? Men aren’t stepping up as fathers.
There seems to be a level of irresponsibility when a female has had numerous abortions or even very late abortions (such as abortion in the eighth month of pregnancy or so) but even then if she chooses to abort, is it justice for a man to put her to death or prison because he “thinks” this is the most evil thing on earth??!! After my abortion, I dragged myself up and down my stairs, sobbing, screeching inside my soul because abortion is painful! Not just physically painful, but mentally and spiritually. What a woman goes through a man will never know… and the choices she makes should be for her destiny. You NEVER really know what happens in another persons life why she makes the decision for an abortion. She shouldn’t be judged, she should be loved. I believe we should encourage a pregnant woman to proceed with her pregnancy and not to have an abortion… but if she chooses to abort we should be there for her just the same. The battle belongs to her.
An Italian female poet once wrote, “Blood is red so that you may see it” (Marta Fabiani). I have been affected by my abortion. I have learned from it. I have hurt from it. Sometimes I regret it. But I chose it. No one, but me, should have control over what I do with my body. This is my right. These are the boundaries. If I say “no”, then I mean “no”… if I say “yes”, then I truly mean “yes”. My body is MY space.
To me, one of the most evil things on this earth is when a man feasts his eyes on a woman like a platter to be served… his thoughts every 5 minutes about sex and desires to cheat on his mate (and then teaching their sons this- and generation after generation). Also, to me, evil is when we as people, male and female, can’t back each other up with understanding and love.
We need to talk more with our daughters and granddaughters about sex and pregnancy. We need to stop being so disconnected with them because they are hearing about these things day after day at school. We need to teach them, lovingly, to have beauty with discipline so that they don’t become the feast upon the platters that get eaten over and over again… we don’t want them to experience abortion! We want them to know only joy and life as God does!!
Amelie –
I don’t know how I missed your post when I was last on this site. Your words resonate with me on a very deep level. Thank you for sharing your perspective. As women who have experienced the far reaching effects of abortion, we know Gods forgiveness and grace in a way that few others have experienced. Personally, the grace that God extended to me surrounding my past abortion has caused me to respond to Him with a depth of love that I didn’t even know existed within my soul prior to that.
I want to others to experience that love. I don’t want anything to hinder another woman from experiencing the grace of God and His perfect love for her.
So I agree that we need to talk. We need to talk to our daughters and granddaughters – – – and sons and grandsons. We simply need to talk more and stop remaining silent.
We have so much to share
All of your convictions and opinions are very touching and helpful thanks to everyone for being bold to share on such a touchy subject. personally, for me, I’ve wrestled with this idea a lot. I’ve always been pro choice, and I feel that women have the ultimate decision which they may make. They will be the ones who suffer the consequences no matter the choice, as well as reap what they sew, as do we all. It strengthens my faith and makes me realize Gods love for me knowing he sewed me in the womb. It makes my life seem much more significant, and important. It’s great reassurance to myself. But no matter how hard I try and how much I pray, my heart hasn’t changed on my decision and outlook of being pro-choice. I’ve prayed and meditated, educated myself heavily on this issue and I still stand pro-choice. Thanks for reading.
Thank you Jae. It’s not an easy decision for a woman to make this choice. Females need much need much support when making this choice. Full support is needed whether she carries out with the pregnancy or not.
I just want to thank you for sharing your story and having the courage to speak out. I agree with everything you said and I sincerely feel the compassion you have for anyone in that most difficult situation. Although I do not think that is the right choice for me, I believe it is not our right to take it from others because you are right, it will not stop it, it will cause more deaths. The thing I don’t understand is why people think that if you are pro-choice you are advocating abortion–all the pro-choice people I know would much rather see a woman choose another option, any option besides getting rid of her child. Just to give the readers an example from my own life, I had a young friend who did get pregnant unexpectedly and I (the pro-choice girl remember) encouraged her NOT to terminate and have been helping her with child care, etc. because I made that commitment to her. I would argue that alot of woman who choose abortion do not have any support or little support to be able to make it with a child. Anyway, thanks again and I think that the most important thing people should take from you post is that we should have compassion and understanding first above wanting to control someones choice. Gina
I am a pro-choice Christian and have yet to personally meet anyone who agrees with me.
Abortion is a complex issue to say the least. Regardless of when an individual believes that life actually begins, it’s a cruel myth to be told that a fetus is simply tissue. Abortion must be defined for what it is – ending the potential life of a child.
The debate about when life begins shouldn’t be the issue. When faced with an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy, a woman should receive supportive and non-judgmental counsel that causes her to face the reality of her situation. The kindest approach would be to help her wrestle with the truth so she can honestly weigh all of her options.
We all agree that eventually the fetus will become a child. That is the reality.
A woman should be required to acknowledge that truth prior to having an abortion when she has a trained counselor to help her deal with it. If she doesn’t accept the reality of her decision before she has an abortion, there will come a time at some point in the future when she WILL have to face the truth.
Remove the debate about when life begins. Acknowledge that a fetus eventually becomes a child.
If a woman comes to terms with that reality she should be free to make that choice. Free will is God’s design.
Jesus didn’t try to change the moral fiber of society.
He came to restore the heart of mankind to God.
As Christians we should try to live the life of Christ. He did not come to judge the world but to save the world. It seems to me that taking a stand against abortion is in fact standing in judgment.
I am so glad that I found this site because I am very alone in my community and it is very refreshing to read that there are others that share at least some of my thoughts. Thanks for letting me share my opinion.
As I was re-reading my own post, I realized that I came across sounding very abrupt and almost angry. The truth is that this issue is very difficult for me and a hard one for me to express my feelings – as opposed merely stating my thoughts.
I feel very strongly that the pro-life vs pro-choice argument has actually crippled the goal of spreading the message of the gospel. I have attended several protests for the right to life in the past and I was very saddened to hear the voices of those in opposition to pro-life as they described their view of Christianity.
Have we forgotten that when we speak in the name of Jesus, we are claiming to represent Jesus?
This is a subtle dichotomy in my opinion. As we stand in judgment in an effort to save the lives of the unborn, do you see that the way in which the non-believers reject our message and judge our posture as being self righteous also causes them to further reject our Jesus?
Don’t you suppose that whenever we take a public posture as a representative for Jesus Christ, we should carefully discern how we will be perceived? If our posture causes even one person to reject Jesus as a direct result of our actions – are we really gaining anything for the Kingdom of God?
That is why I propose that we focus on the sanctity of the lives of all of God’s lost children who are walking in this world searching for truth. The great commission is compromised each time this debate uses up time and resources that could be targeted towards spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Personally, I want to learn to speak words of healing and forgiveness and live my life in a way that hopefully attracts others to want to know my God. That should keep me busy enough.
I agree that we do not have the right as a human to criminalize abortion,we do not criminalize,pride,greed,adultry,lying,and many other sins.If abortion is technically murder,and our laws are not biblical laws then let God judge and deal with that individual.I am a follower of Christ,I chose to have all 4 of my children and my oldest was unplanned,but not unwanted.My now mother in law and husband both wanted me to terminate that pregnancy.I chose and had the confidence to know I would be just fine with out any ones support.Some people don’t have that kind of courage,or the circumstances are very different.I am very happy with my choice,but God gives us all free will,or we would be robots.If a woman suffers depression,regret,after an abortion,that is a natural consequence.Let people makes mistakes,let them sin.In addition to that love them,feed them,care for them.and share the love of Christ.Loving people,will heal their hearts,allows them to grow in their faith if they have one and God willing would chose not to have an abortion.
Thank you for your heartfelt thoughts!
I left two comments on this subject and neither one was allowed to remain on the site. Why is that? My view isn’t much different than any other – I’m so curious. In my opinion it is not fair to to limit this sort of discussion. Also, it feels very isolating to not be able state my opinion
Cheri — my apologies — I was just very behind in approving comments. My first baby is due (literally) today and I’ve been very preoccupied from the blog. I truly, truly appreciate your comments and value knowing there are people out there who are willing to share their opinions on this very controversial subject. Please know that I’m very glad you visited my blog and posted your thoughts. I hope that you return often in the future — hopefully I will be able to post more after the baby arrives and things settle down. Sincerely — meg
Meg – I am sorry that I didn’t reply to your comment immediately after you posted it. Thank you for your explanation and for affirming the value of keeping an open mind about issues that are so controversial and emotionally charged. My heart aches for the way in which society at large has lost interest in the Church (Body of Christ). It grieves me that there is so much division amongst Christians over this and other social issues where emotions run high – and lines are drawn and sides are taken. Division within the Body of Christ is toxic and may well be the biggest obstacle in our attempt to shine Light into this dark world.
I’m glad that you are taking a break from writing as you spend time with your precious new baby. She is obviously your first priority and I respect your need to figure out how to balance motherhood with the rest of your life. When you return to writing your blog – in whatever form that takes – I will be back to read your posts.
Thank you again, and I pray God’s richest blessing on you and your family.
cheri
The fact that he is a man does not make is say invalid. I have the exact same ideas as he and I am a woman. I am sad to see someone discounting someone’s ideas based upon gender.
When a woman has a child and does not share with the father she is going to do so, his life completely changes out of no control of his own. Just because I am a woman and cannot understand his personal feelings about it doesn’t mean that I am incapable of what the mother did in that case was wrong and affected more than just her.
I am a pro life christian. I do believe a human life has been created at conception. I also believe that no person on the planet has the right to kill another person, no matter how we choose to try to justify it.
I also believe that education, compassion and consistently being out in the community doing all we can. I believe we need to be a model of God’s word.
Compassion and support to me does not mean I have to support something God does not support. I cannot support someone murdering another for any reason, but I can love them and do my best to aid in them not being in that position to begin with.
Meg,
I would like to say that the discussion so often fiercely wars between the right or wrong of abortion and seldom reconciles on the fact that it is not the act itself that is so much an issue as the individual’s right to make a choice.
She must have that right, just as we have the right to choose to support or challange her decision.
We, as women in North America, are all considered equal in the eyes of the law and have been granted many freedoms that women in other nations have not, so why is a woman’s right to govern her own body a matter of issue?
Are issues of religion, morality and ethics not an individual’s own choice so why not control of one’s own body?
I believe the option of choice is an individual’s right; what she chooses should reflect her beliefs, morality, and spirituality…. not mine.
I will lift her up regardless if her choices are not my choices, she still deserves the right to choose.
B
thank you for this article. I have been going about this issue for a while and have been pro-choice for a long time and even have had an elective abortion due to an unhealthy pregnancy and only till now have I been struggling as a christian to be pro choice. I am against abortion but I don’t think I can tell another woman what to do with her body. I feel that people should choose not to sin not be forced.
You and I seem to share opposite views based upon the same thing, our life experiences… As the daughter of a mother who struggled for 15 years before being blessed with the daughter she’d prayed for all her life, as a survivor of CHD (congenital heart defect), as someone who very well could have been aborted had my parents known of my birth-defects, and as a devout Christian I can’t an won’t support abortion. not now. not ever. I see it as an evil destruction of life. I couldn’t bring myself to refer a woman for an abortion and in doing so send an innocent child to their death. I support choice, the choice to be responsible and to choose life when precautions fail.
No one who supports Roe V. Wade truly follows God
Dear Chelsea Bradham,
I find it interesting that you can post something like this on a forum that is filled with vulnerable confessions and evidently wrestled-with issues and make an ending statement that discredits all these people with your judgment. I must assume that you posted this comment without reading and considering these stories from very real people. Instead, you chose to consciously wound others based on their struggles to find truth and revealing that you think your beliefs on this topic are solely correct.. This very common trend among conservative Christians (to condemn others when a Biblical command has been supposedly violated) reveals an utter lack of compassion and shows how you need Christ just as much as those who do not “truly follow God” in your words.
As for the supposed violation of the Biblical command to support life, you will notice if you read through the comments and stories in this blog and posting section, that most of these women do not support nor feel OKAY with abortion – rather they are not okay with running around and trying to force morality upon others via governmental devices. You will note when you read through the Gospels that Christ does nothing of this sort, but rather uses love and compassion to gather his children in truth. In my opinion, I believe he would not force the illegalization of abortion, but would be so busy loving people that they probably wouldn’t want to get one after being loved so freaking much. Agreeing with Roe v Wade is not necessarily disagreeing with the immorality of the practice, but rather it may be disagreeing with coercion as a means to solve the problem. Don’t simplify this issue – it’s so much more complex than that.
With that said, I would like to apologize for any harshness relayed in this message, as I am equally as sinful as you are (probably not more, but I can’t convince you of anything if you’re already “right”), but also confess that passing judgment upon others and forming rigid, narrow-minded generalizations of and to other people is something that makes me really upset. Please forgive me and continue to love others as Christ loved us.
Your sister,
Jenn
P.S. Meg, congratulations on your baby (at least a year ago!) and best of luck in motherhood. How exciting!
Jenn — thank you so much for your thoughtful comments! They are very much appreciated.
Thank you for this post! With everything going on between susan g komen and planned parenthood lately, there has been a lot of debate and discussion on the topic of abortion and prolife and prochoice. I’m a christian and I like to think I’m prolife,but like yourself I believe that because this is a sinful world that abortion is going to be a part of it. I have also thought statisical wise- I think the estimate was 300,000 babies are aborted each year. If none of those mothers wanted their baby, that would be 300,000 more children in an orphanage which there would be no room for. Where would they all go? it would be crazy with orphanages being overcrowded as it is let along adding 300,000 more kids. I would never have an abortion myself but I think its better for a lot of those babies to be in heaven rather than living with parents who might abuse them or being in an overcrowded orphange with no place to go. Thanks again for your view! Its nice to hear from another christian who has the same views
I suppose with these views it does make me a prochoice christian like yourself. Its just hard to contemplate because I’ve always seen myself as prolife. Maybe its how prochoice people are viewed, others see them as just evil baby killers. But there’s so much to our prochoice view that some people can’t understand
Thank you for your comments Margaret!
I love your website. I have just undergone a medical abortion. It was something that I wish I never had to go through, but I believe it was the best decision. I was having cramps, radiating towards my back-so it was a matter of time before I miscarried. I think more Christians should stick up for the rights, as it should be legal and safe. Do I agree with all circumstances of abortion? No. Am I going to judge? No. Jesus tells us to LOVE and not to judge. That’s what being a Christian is all about. It is about standing together and looking at your enemies and loving them, rather than bashing them. We are forgiven of all sins. I just want to say thank you, you have helped me tremendously. And to the people who think that Satan is using abortion as his tool, please find a new argument. Satan is the person putting your judgemental ideas into your head. I’ll be praying for you, along with myself, as I do every night. God is Love!
Thanks for your thoughts, Amanda. I have prayed for your continued healing and happiness!
Wow. Thank you so much for this post and thank you everyone for such heartfelt christ centered dialogue, this is my dream of what the ‘abortion debate’ would be, a dialogue that fosters love, compassion and mercy not judgement and legalistic attitudes that breed hate.
I agree that the issue is complex and we cant villainize women who chose to have an abortion. I am christian and would consider myself under the labels ‘pro choice’ and ‘pro life’ although i do find these labels inflammatory and misleading.
I dont think criminalizing abortion will mean less children or mothers are harmed, the stigmatization and isolation of women when making this decision could very well be called a tool of satan. As people have said over and over if we get to the root of the issue and renew the minds of women living in this fallen world through education, support and the love of christ – maybe we could really change something – the way people conceive and treat abortion – maybe we could shed light on the truth of the matter without the rhetoric that surrounds the debate, self serving politics and uncritical cultural attitudes…
This isnt just about abortion, its about sin and as beleivers how we grappel with the spiritual truth of it and the political reality of it in our world. From the times of witch burnings, prohibition and now abortion we have struggled to respond to sin as christ did….maybe now is our chance to show the world we are different, set apart, a holy nation bound in the love of christ..
Love and blessings to everyone who reads this
xx
Thought you would enjoy my sermon about being faithful and pro-choice. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qah_ZxEZPFs&sns=fb
As a man, I know that I can never truly understand the thoughts and feelings that go through a woman’s mind when contemplating this decision. I am a Christian and believe that the bible condemns abortion, but I do not think that I have the right to dictate or judge other peoples lives let alone their decisions. That right belongs solely to our Lord and it saddens me to see and hear so many fellow Christians forget that critical point. These groups of people who go stand outside clinics harrsssing women and employees are wrong. They are in the same boat as the people toting around “god hates fags” signs. I haven’t done much research on this issue, but I believe that women should have the right to make these decisions for themselves after a great deal of unbiased education, I also believe that our government should never have the right to make these decisions for us. It doesn’t matter if I think abortion is immoral because my religion and beliefs tell me it is, our government shouldn’t use any religion to dictate any of its laws. As people living here in this country we need to understand that we are a very diverse culture and there is a reason that church and state are separate. We need to stop the judgement and embrace.
Sorry if I was all over the place, this is the first time I have ever really tried to put my thoughts into words here and I think I might have stumbled through many different things. Nevertheless I really enjoyed reading through this thread and seeing all the good things on here.
I have read through most of the comments on this blog…I come from Zimbabwe where abortion is illegal,a lot of women have illegal abortions and some even go through with the pregnancy only to dump the baby in a toilet or leave it in some dust bin to die there.I do not think abortion is okay,but making abortion a crime does not neccessarily reduce the number of abortions,it only increases the number of illegal and dangerous abortions,the women receive no councelling so the effects of the abortion are more traumatic and because illegal abortions are more expensive poorer women who are usually teenagers choose to conceal their pregnancies and ‘discard’ the baby.
This is a quote from an article I recently read (you can Google Guibilini and Minerva to find more information):
“No, I didn’t make this up. “Partial-birth abortion” is a term invented by pro-lifers. But “after-birth abortion” is a term invented by two philosophers, Alberto Giubilini and Francesca Minerva. In the Journal of Medical Ethics, they propose:
[W]hen circumstances occur after birth such that they would have justified abortion, what we call after-birth abortion should be permissible. … [W]e propose to call this practice ‘after-birth abortion’, rather than ‘infanticide,’ to emphasize that the moral status of the individual killed is comparable with that of a fetus … rather than to that of a child. Therefore, we claim that killing a newborn could be ethically permissible in all the circumstances where abortion would be. Such circumstances include cases where the newborn has the potential to have an (at least) acceptable life, but the well-being of the family is at risk.”
In other words, after legalizing abortion of unborn babies, the next step being discussed is legalizing after-birth abortion, because a newborn baby has no “moral” status, just as an unborn baby has no “moral” status. Therefore “killing a newborn could be ethically permissible”. Allowing the “choice” to take another life is a slippery slope.
Just my 2 cents. I’m not trying to cause contention, but just encourage thinking through the end result of allowing the “choice” to take a life. I also believe this has nothing to do with whether one is male or female. It is about the value of life, which applies to everyone. Unborn, newborn, handicapped, diseased, elderly… Different stages of life. Do they all have value? Each person must decide, because soon we (as a society) will be grappling with this.
I want to encourage you. Your gentle words of truth are making a profound impact on the lives of others. Hold fast to what you know is good and right. You will be despised and hated for your love and compassion towards women but so was Jesus.
Spot on! I am also a pro-choice Christian for many of the same reasons and can’t help but feel like so much of the anti-choice sentiment really comes down to self reighteousness and a desire to see young women “punished” for a poor choice. If feelings of concern for these “babies” were the genuine motivation, why do these same individuals seem to care so little for these often disadvantaged and fatherless children after they’re born? Force a woman to have a child that she has no means to support, and then offer her no help and only condemnation for not being able to do it all as a single parent?? Complete hypocrisy!
I’m glad I found this site. I was disheartened when I read a website earlier and it said I am not a christian because I’m pro-choice. Yes I’m a guy and I have no say… but I am still a “Christian” and I vote. So during the election cycle every christian seems to be pushing the pro-life agenda down my throat and it feels alienating. The only reason why I am pro-choice is due to the fact that I would not be able to look at a woman who’s been raped and say “You have to have that baby, you have no choice. It sucks to be you, but tough.” All the while forgetting that she was raped and probably going through things I can’t fathom. I know there are a lot of people who have strong view points, there are many scenarios and what ifs, but for me, my calling “for now” (through my prayers for enlightenment) is not to tell a person what to do but to show the person love, patience, as much understanding as I can, and whatever guidance I can. I can only hope they choose “life” but I can’t make that choice for them. This is such a touchy subject, but I’m glad I found other christians who see it similar to me.
While I see your point, it saddens me at a lack of value for life. A woman fan make the decision to end a pregnancy, but she is simultaneously ending another person’s life. Pregnancy and life are not mutually exclusive. Pregnancy does not exsist without life. While I agree with freedom of choice, I dont agree with murder (and as harsh as it sounds, thats what it is). What youre asking is to make it possible for a person to sin as safely as possible, and sin isn’t safe. It’s dangerous in any form. I dont want women to attempt to have back alley abortions, but isn’t it their choice?
I feel like we’re missing the mark with this whole topic. People NEED Jesus. People don’t need an easy access to abortion. How many came through the clinic that you referred for abortions that would only bandaid their current situation (with a contaminated bandaid that only added an infection to the sin disease) that really needed Jesus and His love and acceptance?
Hi Vanessa — first, thank you for your thoughtful comments. I would say that every woman who came through the doors of the clinic needed Jesus, just as we all need Jesus, every day. It was always a bandaid to the current situation. That cuts to the core of the issue from my point of view — how can we move into society in a meaningful way to share Jesus with hurting women and help them to begin making choices that will prevent the unplanned pregnancy in the first place? In my view, that is the solution as opposed to criminalizing these women and their choices. I absolutely agree with you — the answer is Jesus. I have other questions — How can you say that you agree with freedom of choice and then say that women should have the “choice” of a back-alley abortion? Why would anyone choose that? How is it civil or compassionate to construct a society where a back-alley abortion is considered a legitimate choice? Thanks again, I appreciate your comments.
What about the rights of the women inside the womb? Don’t they get a say? You claim to be about ‘her’ choice, like the ‘her’ on the other side of the birth canal doesn’t have her own DNA, hair eye and skin colors, blood type, central nervous system etc. Hey Christian – did Christ come to bring life or death … and along that line what if Mary had aborted Jesus?? You disgust me, having the nerve to label yourself as a Christian. I am sorry if you believe this is a little indignant but I’m certain the Lord would prefer I ‘chase the money changers out of the temple’ rather than watch as one who calls herself His own speak such untruth. Christianity and pro-en-utero-infanticide are NOT reconcilable. The unadulterated, premeditated murder of innocence in or out of the womb will be harshly dealt with by your Savior – you better believe it. Will He say to you “be gone – I never did know you/you never did know Me”?
The problem with abortions, is WERE PAYINGTax dollars for women to kill babies. Those tax dollars should go to women who can’t afford birth control or affordable birth control..and readily available. I had a child who I didn’t plan nor want at first when it seemed impossible to live with. baby or take care of it I had search out birthcontrol with no luck had a appt. 11 month away and was pregnant by then. I am a happy sober mother bc I chose to keep my kid. Govt does need to stay out of it and not pay for abortions and instead of providing abortions pills to teens provide birth control. And, abortion clinics are killing live newborns also. Planned parenthood is leaving the choice up to patient and doctor, by then the patient is the baby suffering to live. It’s not ok. And if you do have a baby yourself you’ll better understand sister. I love you on Christ….but I don’t agree. God bless and may God forgive us
I absolutely love your website.. Excellent colors & theme.
Did you build this website yourself? Please reply back as I’m hoping to create my very own
blog and would love to find out where you got this from or what the
theme is called. Thank you!
I am so glad I found this website and can share my heart and receive some understanding and kindness, As a Pentecostal Christian, I have always been pro-life. One of my sons and his only wife have eight children. A very recent situation in our family found my pro-life views a wanting. I would personally not have an abortion, but I now believe that option should be there for all women…but not as a birth control method, of course. In my research, I was shocked to read that Israel allows abortion and even pays for it…especially for those cases of rape and incest, marital infidelity, to preserve the life of the mother and, in most cases if the child has birth defects; e.g., Downs syndrome, spinal bifiita, etc. I read and studied scripture and found, in my opinion, that interpretation of those scriptures seems to add to additional meanings to what is actually said. I hope that in the future I will be able to share our family’s full story, but right now it is so new and so extremely and utterly painful. Understand this, that our eldest son and his wife’s choice to terminate their first pregnancy at an age where most people have teenagers or children ready to go to college was not entered ino lightly and included genetic counseling and testing, conversations with many doctors, a religious counselor, both sides of the family, and prayer. There is a New DNA test that is 99.99% correct as well as the CVS test which is 98% correct (and after the termination of the pregnancy that the baby did have devastating birth defects plus more issues). It was an agonizing and enotional decision for this highly educated and catholic couple, but it was also a merciful one for the child. Thank you for listening and letting me share such raw thoughts and emotions. God bless.