I don’t get into this conversation with many of my Christian friends…I wish more of them would be open to the discussion but I have to respect that this is an incredibly emotionally charged issue and friendships can be lost over such things. At the same time, I wish that more Christians could be open to the possibility that one can be Christian and pro choice.
The prompting for this post is learning on a friend’s blog that the National Abortion Rights Action League (NARAL) has endorsed Barack Obama. I’m surprised by this because I thought for sure that their endorsement would go to Hillary. But they see the writing on the wall like I’m thinking Hillary already has.
I worked for Planned Parenthood for many years doing pregnancy testing and counseling. I have referred many women and girls for abortions and some for adoption. I have heard countless stories of how these women and girls ended up with an unplanned pregnancy — some stories I wish I could forget. Stories of incest (on more than one occasion stories of repeated pregnancies from incest), rape, domestic abuse, loneliness, heartache, self-hatred, and fear. Never in all of the years that I worked in an abortion clinic did I meet a woman who casually chose abortion on a whim, as if without thinking or because it was the “easy” thing to do. Never did I meet a woman who was not torn up over her decision. And there it is: her decision. Not mine. Not yours. Not a Senator’s sitting on Capitol Hill. Hers. There in that very small counseling room, looking at that positive pregnancy test, knowing that she was going to make the hardest and worst decision of her whole life. And knowing that she will never be the same again.
I do not advocate or encourage abortion, but I believe that our government must maintain the right to legal and safe abortion for women who want to end a pregnancy. Women must be allowed the right to make this decision between herself and her physician without the interference of any government entity. I believe that reproductive choice is a fundamental human right. Criminalizing abortion will not end abortion. Women will die just as they did before abortion was legalized. My own mother lost a high school friend to a botched back-alley abortion in the 1950’s. Even in the 1990’s I met women who came to our clinic after trying to perform their own abortion by their own crude means. All to save face and avoid having to come to our clinic.
We live in a tragically fallen, sinful world and abortion is part of it. Sex without commitment (ie, marriage) is part of it. Unplanned pregnancy is part of it. Criminalizing abortion will not change these facts. Only the return of Christ and His reign on Earth will change these facts. Until then I believe that we must educate our young women and men (in homes, schools, and churches) about healthy sexual activity and the consequences of sex outside of marriage. We must work diligently to improve the self esteem of teenage girls so they do not seek acceptance through sex. We must provide affordable birth control to women of all races and economic classes. We must provide single women with economic and social support to make parenthood a feasible option. And we must reach the world for Christ so that women will have a foundation and support system to help them choose not to have an abortion.
Please know that I do not take this issue lightly. My husband and I struggle with infertility and the knowledge that we will never have our own biological child. Some days I feel that I would give anything for my own pregnancy and I struggle knowing that there are women out there choosing to end theirs. But my pain does not give me the right to take away another woman’s choice. It is hard and it doesn’t make sense, but God is good and his forgiveness and mercy are unfathomable.
Women In His Image Feed
One thing to think about, Meg… If it’s true that only the return of Christ and His reign on Earth will change these facts, then why attempt anything “good” at all? Why attempt to educate, work diligently, provide birth control, provide support, etc, if Christ’s return is the only true solution? Well, because redeeming this (fallen) earth is what we’re called to do! Though it may be true that criminalizing abortion will result in death, we must understand that legalized abortion advocates death. I think we can educate and work to support women as well as fight to oppose the deaths of growing human fetuses.
I’m wondering if you and I disagree on the point of human life rather than the worth of women (because surely we agree on the latter).
Thanks for being open to conversation! This is a topic of high emotion, but I think we need to be able to talk openly anyhow…
Meg,
Thanks for your honest and courageous post. I thought it was extremely well written and I do understand your point, but I have to agree with R. Even in the horrendous cases you mentioned, I feel, as Christians, we are called to encourage adoption instead of abortion. We are called to love the women, not the decision.
I would be willing to talk to you privately (email) about instances in my own family where so many good things came out of bad situations–if you so desire.
Sarah
Hi Meg,
I’m glad I found your blog. We have a lot in common. I find myself sick at heart about the lack of willingness to address the causes of abortion and the belief that criminalizing abortion will solve the problems that lead to them. I think the real object is to take our autonomy away from us.
While I agree with Sarah M that adoption is a good choice, it is really up to the pregnant women whether that is the best plan for her and only she has the right to make that decision. Many things do come out of bad situations, but there’s more than one way toward a good outcome.
I find the lack of charity in the pro-life movement disturbing. Though I am Catholic, I am sick at heart over the Catholic blogosphere which seems to be filled with self-righteousness on this issue. Anyone who doesn’t agree is immediately labeled “not really Catholic.” Your blog is quite a welcome relief!
Hey there Meg,
I found your article relieving, I was starting to think that I was the only Christian out there who also happens to be pro choice. It’s a touchy subject to many people and I have often noticed it can turn into a nasty debate. I agree with you, education is a key element that can certainly help prevent unplanned pregnancies so women won’t have to make this incredibly difficult decision. I try to stay neutral, I am not an advocate of abortion in all situations. It is uptimately up to the woman to decide if an abortion would be right for her. It should be no else’s decision but her own. We must make sure our women have this option. Keep abortion safe and legal! Thank you for such a wonderful article, I thoroughly enjoyed it and thought it was very well written.
I am a Christian that used to believe that abortion was okay. I have had two, both when I was a young Christian almost thirty years ago. I now believe that a human life is not mine to end.
I think that if the Church would have more compassion and less judging of pregnancy outside of marriage that there would be fewer abortions. These attitudes have greatly improved over the last few decades but there is room for improvement still.
I have adopted 4 FAS/FDE children (after raising my own 4 bio kids) Even with all their birth defects I truly believe that life was the better choice for them. I’m glad their mother thought so too.
As one who has experienced abortion I tell all people including my own unmarried pregnant daughter, “Be brave and choose life, you’ll regret the abortion.” She did and my granddaughter is the most amazing blessing:)
At this time in history, with birth control available to children as young as 12, I think it is time to do away with this barbaric practice, especially late term abortion.
I know I am not the only person that believes that abortion is one of the ways(along with suicide, drugs) our Enemy is doing away with this generation that will usher in the second coming of Christ. Just like Satan did through Herod when Christ was born, ( Moses too) Satan has come to kill, rob and destroy. I don’t want to be his apprentice.
I appreciate the venue you have provided here to discuss this. Let’s all be a little more tolerant of our brothers and sisters.
Christ will show me where I am in error because he loves me.
Thank you
Annette
Hi Annette, thanks for your comments. I appreciate your thoughts. Please note that I never said that I think abortion is “okay.” I do not believe that abortion is okay, but I am willing to allow another woman to make her own decision on the issue. I do not believe in criminalizing that decision because I don’t agree with it.
I certainly agree with you that there can be long-term effects from abortion. Emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual effects. Even more of a reason to support global family planning services and women’s access to free birth control.
I think its a sad state when Satan has confused believers into thinking its ok to have an abortion. This is a very very sad and disturbing site. Lord have mercy on us.
Kyle, if you completely read my post you saw that in no way do I state it is “ok to have an abortion.” In fact, I state that I do not advocate or encourage abortion. I believe in maintaining the right to legal abortion while taking our responsibility as Christians in moving towards a society where women are no longer in the position where they are forced to choose abortion. In the words of former President Clinton: Abortion should be safe, legal, and rare.”
I had my first child when I was 19. I am now 30. The love for my daughter, like any good mother, is great and irreplacable. However, the struggle she and I have endured, even now, financially, emotionally, fatherless, etc. has made me wonder ‘how could I have put us through this?’ The reason I didn’t have an abortion is because I thought it was wrong and my christian family is against it. Also, I lived in a world of self hate where pregnancy was just another thing I had to “endure” and “be strong” after a life of childhood sexual abuse, physical abuse and living without a mother to raise me. I’m still not married but after my first child I have had two abortions… It’s not something that any woman can really be proud of but I thank God that I was able to make the choices I made out of desperation and another chance to get my life right with myself and with God. I have gone to church my whole life and no one has offered to help me. They judge me because I’m sitting in church, not married, with a daughter. I will not condone premarital sex or abortion with my daughter but I will continue to teach her that her choices are very important to her future, to love herself and we’ve all got to the best we can.
Amelie, thank you for your sincere and honest post. You made a very courageous decision to have your daughter on your own. You have so much wisdom from your experiences that you can share with your daughter, and I’m sure that this will be invaluable to her as she makes her own decisions. I think that you could be an excellent advocate for other women who have shared similar difficult experiences in life. I pray for the continued comfort and healing of Christ in your life.
The Bible tells us God is involved in our creation from the womb:
“Did not He who made me in the womb make him, And the same one fashion us in the womb? (Job 31:15)
Yet Thou art He who didst bring me forth from the womb; Thou didst make me trust when upon my mother’s breasts. Upon Thee I was cast from birth; Thou hast been my God from my mother’s womb. (Psalms 22:9-10)
For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Thy works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from Thee, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Thy book they were all written, The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them. (Psalms 139:13-16)
Thus says the LORD who made you And formed you from the womb, who will help you, `Do not fear, O Jacob My servant; And you Jeshurun whom I have chosen. (Isaiah 44:2)
Thus says the LORD, your Redeemer, and the one who formed you from the womb, “I, the LORD, am the maker of all things, Stretching out the heavens by Myself, And spreading out the earth all alone, (Isaiah 44:24)
I’m interested to hear these opinions of fellow Christians and many Christians have the same stance on this issue. I used to be tolerant with people having abortions in this world because it is broken and people will do what they choose even though I was convicted I would never have an abortion. I used to think many gray areas were okay even for Christians.
But now, being more mature in my relationship with God, I don;t think all of these worldly things are okay. As Christians we are supposed to be set apart from the world. We are not supposed to participate in premarital sex, homosexuality, or choose to end the life of an innocent child. These things are stated in the Bible the inspired word of God.
God’s mercy and forgiveness is greater than we all know and as the body of Christ we are supposed mirror that. People sin. We are supposed to be there to pick them up. But being Pro-Choice is being tolerant of the innocent killing of a child. We need to be the voice for these innocent unborn babies. What about their choice? God values every life and we should too.
Hi – I stumbled upon this post while doing some research… thanks for the insights as one who is working very intimately with the topic at hand. I appreciate your response to one of the previous comments saying you don’t think abortion is “okay” but you realize it’s not your prerogative to prohibit it for someone else. I also appreciate your obvious sympathy and desire to help these women in difficult circumstances… these are much lacking qualities in the American church, especially in pro-life circles. My question for you is, as a Christian, what do you think is the role of law in society? What should or should not the government legislate? As you yourself are against abortion, I assume you view the fetus as a living being, having life value… otherwise, it is simply a living tissue that is part of the mother and abortion should be no issue whatsoever. I value your belief that abortion is the choice of the woman and not of the State, a senator, a judge, etc. However, do you think the state should control violence against humans in general, or leave it to the discretion of the ones being violent? If the fetus has the same value of life as any other human, why should the government legally “stay out” of the practice of abortion and not the practice of murder in general?
I am a student at a well-known evangelical seminary in the U.S., and am currently preparing to debate a pro-abortion standpoint in a Christian Ethics class (not because I am pro-abortion, but b/c I thought it would be interesting). As I prepare for the debate and as I determine my own stance, I am taking seriously the biblical role of law, as well as what it means to live under the U.S. constitution and not a Christian government. However, the central issue appears to be NOT whether or not one should have the choice, BUT whether or not the fetus is a living being. If the fetus does have the same human quality as you or I, then I can’t help but ask why the government should take a stance against murder and not against abortion?(Obviously, in the general public, the jury is still out on whether the fetus is a living being or not. However, it appears that you believe it has life value.) Thus, my question restated: what is the role of law in our world? What should it be used for and when is it inappropriate?
I would appreciate your thoughts.
Thanks
Thanks for your comments Steve. You ask very difficult questions that I can’t say I am necessarily able to answer. What do I think the role of law is in society? I would say the role of law is to protect the citizens and create a safe environment where individual members of society can thrive and live in harmony with one another. I believe that there are very personal and intimate human matters that the government cannot legislate, and certain religious and spiritual matters that the government should not legislate. As an individual in a free society, I personally view my fetus as a living being from the time of conception and I am thankful that I do not live in a society where if this were my second child my government would force abortion on me without my choice (China). I don’t believe that the government can legislate that the fetus has the same “value of life” as any other human — I don’t believe this is the role of government, but should instead be the role of the church in society. To raise the example of China again, their government has legislated that a second child has no value of life whatsoever.
American law is not Biblical law, nor should it be in my opinion (read Hauerwas & Willimon’s “The Ten Commandments in Christian Life” for very interesting thoughts on this notion). Our country is based on freedom of religious and religious plurality and I value these ideals.
I can tell you that since I wrote my original post I now have personal experience with pregnancy and it has not changed my thoughts on the legality of abortion. I still believe in a woman’s right to obtain a safe and legal abortion if that is her choice. However, as someone who did abortion counseling for many years, my experience has certainly convicted me further that we should be providing women with very accurate and complete information as they choose the fate of their pregnancy. They must understand that a heart is beating at 6 weeks of life (not as a method of coercion, but simply as a biological fact). They must understand that there are emotional and psychological consequences to abortion that they may experience for years to come (again, not to be manipulative or frighten them but to help prepare them for mental and emotional health in their recovery process). They must be enabled to work through the loss and grief that should be natural for ending a pregnancy (these issues are rarely if ever addressed). Honesty and truthfulness within the abortion counseling process will hopefully contribute to the effort of reducing the number of abortions and the number of unplanned pregnancies as well. Trust me, this is everyone’s goal – even those who work as abortion providers.
I just feel that if Jesus was here he would not be running around trying to gain legislative support. He would be out there spreading the message of His unfailing love for us. That is the Great Commision, not some legislative campaign. I challenge you pro-life christians to do what Jesus did and forgive those who have had abortions and counsel them on Christ redeeming love. I challenge you to open your homes to neglected foster children. Spend time out of your day with orphans. Babysit for the single mothers. Experience what survivors of rape and incest have gone through! Jesus has been through it all. He knows the pain of a women’s choice. AND NO MATTER WHAT HE LOVES HER! So why Christians, are we spending this wasted time debating these issue when we are called to love as Jesus did. Honestly, even I should not have the time to be writting this. Becaause as followers we should have plenty more important things to be doing! Please don’t even respond with your ” I am saving babies crusade”. If you truly want to save babies get out there and spread the love of Christ! Get off your fundamentalist high horse and walk were Jesus walked, down here with the lowly sinners. Stop acing like the Pharises who are more concerned with the Law then the Messiah himself!! Sometimes I wonder if people even read the Bible.
AMEN SISTER!!!
I would just like to thank Arianna for her deeply inspiring words.
I can understand the heartache of an unplanned mistake…sitting there staring blankly at a positive pregnancy test, thinking, “Wow, my entire life has changed in an instant, how can I possibly bring a child into this world…not ready…scared…can’t support it…don’t want it…” whatever the case may be. Setting aside incest and rape for the time being. I guess what I don’t understand is, how is it “her” choice? We’re only discussing consentual sex at the moment. She made the choice when she had sex….and the “mistake” that occured isn’t her choice to terminate. Life comes from God. There was a divine purpose for that child….period…or she wouldn’t have conceived.
It’s no more her choice to terminate that child, than it is mine, when a screaming kid on a bus, is an inconvience to me, so I choose to terminate that child. How is it any different? Because the child is out of the womb, then it becomes murder, but when the child is in the womb, it’s not? I can promise you, as a former embryo myself, I’m glad that I’m here. Even at my lowest points in my life would I have ever wished that my mother would have terminated me instead. There comes a point in life that people have to be responsible and held accountable for their actions….it’s not a child’s fault that her sexual encounter resulted in pregnancy. Millions of families are desperately wanting to adopt babies…because they can’t conceive….how haudy and pretentious of us to say….”Well we can have one…but I’m choosing to terminate instead”
Rock for Life!
All of your convictions and opinions are very touching and helpful thanks to everyone for being bold to share on such a touchy subject. personally, for me, I’ve wrestled with this idea a lot. I’ve always been pro choice, and I feel that women have the ultimate decision which they may make. They will be the ones who suffer the consequences no matter the choice, as well as reap what they sew, as do we all. It strengthens my faith and makes me realize Gods love for me knowing he sewed me in the womb. It makes my life seem much more significant, and important. It’s great reassurance to myself. But no matter how hard I try and how much I pray, my heart hasn’t changed on my decision and outlook of being pro-choice. I’ve prayed and meditated, educated myself heavily on this issue and I still stand pro-choice. Thanks for reading.